Is Reform Possible?

As the population of South FL has increased over the past several years, we have been forced to deal with the issue of gators and humans co-existing in harmony. We have been told that the reason the gators are so aggressive is because they associate humans with food. It's not that they really want to eat us, they are just so anxious to get the treat that we are holding out to them. The fact that we lose an arm just for trying to be kind is our fault. This year the hunters were allowed to kill an alarming number of gators in order to provide a safer environment for the humans. Here in HS we are opting for a softer approach. We have started the Gator Social Reform Society. Our main goal is to socialize these gators to the point where they are able to function normally in our society. The dear lady you see pictured here is our pilot project. When we found her she would snap at anything that came near, it was a real job to get her to put some clothes on. We would have gone for something a little less dated, but you should see the figure we had to work with. The hair was added to soften her appearance, I thought a lovely chestnut brown would have been very becoming, but after seeing Ethan there was no convincing her that red was not her color. She has only tried to eat me once, I was running late and Winn-Dixie had already given away the outdated meat we had been feeding her. We really are not sure what to do about her skin issues, we may try Lubriderm. We have taken her to church a few times but people tend to shy away from her. Maybe a manicure would help to ease every one's nerves during the shaking hands part of the service. Voice lessons have gone over big with her, I mean this girl can sing. The problem is that it is a bit disconcerting to watch her. Overall the project is going as well as expected. If anyone is interested in becoming a part of our organization, just let me know. One day we may be maimed heroes.